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A Note

I love flowers. I love spontaneity, and pleasant surprises. I'm dainty and ambitious; really. I nurse others. There's more than meets the eye when it comes to me.

Yours Truly

ngee ann poly
school of health sciences
Children's Emergency, KKWCH

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Codes Voxybaby
Image Forever 21

Tuesday, January 06, 2009 10:10 pm

I really need a 1000 piece Jigsaw puzzle. Anyway, I'm outta here. One word, moving.

1:03 pm
I'm distracted.

I wasn't myself starting last Saturday. I came to work and told Fiza to make plans with the rest for a crazy night. I needed to dance my troubles and stress away.

On Sunday, I went out with one of my closest cousins, Liyana. We went to Marina Square, a place that holds dear to my heart, to catch the movie, The Duchess. It's a good movie. We talked and talked about stuff. Surprisingly, our troubles were of the similar nature. Had a good time with her.

Yesterday was actually supposed to be a day out with Jaime. But she didn't feel like going out at the last minute so instead she invited me over to her place. So yup, I spent the whole day at her place. We talked about the things that make us think too much, that drove us nuts and brought tears to the eyes. I saw her shoe collection, her wardrobe, her bags and ended up bringing home two pairs of footwear, two kinds of bags and quite a number of tops and a dress. Hahah. Ate dinner and sat at this 'park' near her house and talked some more. Went back up to her house and finished up a 200-piece Jigsaw puzzle. Which gave me another idea of another distraction!

I'm going to go buy a 500-1000 piece Jigsaw puzzle!

Sunday, January 04, 2009 11:11 pm

Distractions, I welcome you with open arms.

That includes asking people out and people asking me out. I've asked people out and people have asked me out too. Good work! Continue doing that, please. I don't want to think.

I've borrowed a book from the library so reading in the public transport is great distraction from thinking.

When my eyes are tired from reading, my MP3 is forever with me so I can distract myself with the great songs so that I have difficulty thinking.

I've signed up for sign language classes so there'll be classes and practicing and studying for tests to do. Good way to distract myself from thinking.

And of course, there's work. Running here and there with loads of things to do cramped in my head. Plus money coming into my bank account which allows me to shop. Perfect distraction to avoid thinking.

I need more distractions. Think people, think of ways that I can do so that I will not think! I will be utterly grateful.

Saturday, January 03, 2009 10:09 pm
The List.

Remember I made a list of 10 things I want to do before I turn 25? I am definitely working on it. Let me refresh you on what is on my list.

1. Travel to a foreign country by myself.

2. Learn to cook five(5) impressive three-course meal.

3. Spend all of a month salary in one day after passing the S$10, 000 mark.

4. Learn horse-riding.

5. Stay in England for at least 2 weeks and try to get as much out of it as I can.

6. Go to a concert.

7. Wade along the seaside and watch a sunset.

8. Improve my sign-language skills by attending classes held by SADEAF.

9. Go to a play/musical alone and dine unaccompanied in a nice restaurant.

10. Make friends with someone born and bred in another country, and keep in touch.

I've touched a little bit on point number 2. I've prepared a 4-course meal. The appetizer was Garlic Bread, the main course was Chicken with Lime Butter, the salad course was Creamy Lime Potato Salad, and the dessert was Strawberry & Banana Smoothie. And I did it all by MYSELF! I remembered how flustered I was while cooking and preparing the meal but I was damned determined. When my family tasted it, well, let's just say they didn't die of poisoning but they didn't tell me to open a restaurant either. The garlic bread was good, the chicken also good but the sauce needed improvement, the potato salad was probably the best dish and the smoothie, I forgot to put in the honey so it tasted a little bit not sweet. But hey, it's healthy! Hahaha. I shall prepare another 'insert-number-here'-course meal sometime this year, probably during one of my long annual leave days.

About point number 3, I changed the mark to S$15, 000 but I think I still won't spend all of a month's salary even after reaching that mark. I'll wait until I'm just reaching 25 years old. Hmm.. does that mean I'll only be going overseas when I'm only just reaching 25? The horror! That won't do. I'll think of something.

Point number 7. That's a dilemma. I saw the sunset. Twice. Like really, actually went somewhere just to see the sunset. Maybe once was accidental but the other one was on purpose. So.. I did see the sunset. But I put sunset and seaside in the same sentence. Again, I did see the sunset, only it wasn't at the beach. So if you look again at point number 7, does it look like two points, i.e. seaside AND sunset or does it look like it's together, i.e. sunset AT the seaside? See my dilemma? But hey, I've still got a few years left, I'm sure I can catch a sunset at the seaside before I reach 25.

And finally, point number 8. I have just filled up a form and wrote in a cheque to sign up for sign language lessons! I'm going to mail it tomorrow. I'm pleased that my mother approve of this. =)

Oh yes. Point number 10. I do have a friend of 4 years plus who's born and bred in England. I would say that I do keep in touch with him because should I ever.. no, WHEN I visit England, I'm going to call him up.

Ok. On to another topic. Check out createtalents.com. Representatives of that company actually approached me while I was on my way to work. Twice within two months I think! What a boost of confidence that was. Hahaha. But, like, seriously? I don't have the boobs for it.

Alright. Enough updates for now. I need to shit!

Before that, I just want to let everyone know, I'm making an effort on almost every aspect of my life. Hopefully, I'll be rewarded.

Thursday, January 01, 2009 10:15 am

I want to be happy.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 4:05 pm
To Aisyah.

I know we planned to go to Genting. I left my leave open until the very last minute where I think we couldn't get a ticket or a hotel room that would suit the dates we're going. But in the end, because Nisa couldn't get the off days, it got cancelled. So don't tell me I used that particular annual leave to do something else on my own. It was made especially for that trip with you guys. Since the trip got cancelled, I was open to any other plans. It's just that the 'date' plan came before whatever other plans you had in store when the trip got cancelled.

And the going out with other friends at clarke quay till late? When was that? I'm pretty sure that was way before that particular leave. And the overnight at the hotel, that was last minute too. There was no Genting trip plus there were no plans on that day. The next day, there's this thing about you driving and Tini asking me out with you guys. After initially refusing to go, and then telling Tini that when my sister comes home, I can go, I actually got dressed and waited for you to tell me you've dropped by and will come pick me up but I don't know what happened and I didn't hear a word.

And the calling up to meet up and all that? I don't do that because it's always when one person doesn't come or is not able to come, the rest will make excuses. From my experience, whatever I plan to do will always get turned down so why should I ask when it'll never be accepted? In the end, you three will make a new plan and I'm just there to accept or refuse to go.

You know what? If I'm still in the wrong, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, Tini and Nisa if I've ever offended you guys, put someone else before you guys or whatever. I'm sorry if I've been such an insecure bitch.

Thanks for the invitation anyway. Even though I said I don't know why I got invited in the first place, or whatever it is that I thought, I appreciate the invitation.

Monday, December 29, 2008 9:53 pm
Thanks a lot.

I'm having the worst leave ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

I'm having the sniffles, my stuff haven't arrive yet, and i'm having such a heartache over him.

The worse thing is, there's no 4 of us or 4 girls anymore it seems. Now that I think about it, I wonder how I got invited to the FOB concert in the first place. I'm not in their gang anymore what right.

Sunday, December 28, 2008 2:36 pm
Damage case.

We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done. Or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage.

And sometimes, the damage is something we can't even see...

We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage.

And then... we set about the business of fixing... whatever we can.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 12:29 pm
Always be my Baby.

I feel like blogging and dusting off the dirt that has settled here since the last time I came to update, but I don't know what to talk about.

Shall I talk about work? Work has been alright. CE is under renovation so it's been really cramped. I've been turning and doing pirouttes as if the only way to move around is by dancing. There are hardly any space to walk. You could easily bump into anyone with every three steps.

Also, they've rearranged things in CE. It's like suddenly, hey where's Obs 1 and hey where's the medicine trolley? Or where do I do FBC? The worst thing about the rearranging is the nurses' counter. They put it right in front of the red door where everyone outside can see you.

We have the computer on the desk where we can see the queue so when a parent comes in to ask when it would be their turn or how long would it be before their turn, we'd have to look at the computer and the parents also can see the screen. Before long, they just come in and look at the screen to see where they are on the queue without asking. It's SOOOOO ANNOYING!! No privacy at all because they can see the names and the complaint of other patients. They are actually NOT allowed to look at our computers! I got so pissed off that whenever that happens I'll stare at them and say 'Yes?'. Good thing I can wear a mask otherwise they can see I'm snarling. Or when I feel a presence behind me, and that person is not asking for any help but is obviously trying to look at the screen, I purposely minimize the window and walk away. One time this parent actually lingered at the doorway like he's the guard of the door trying to look at the screen every 5-10 minutes.


Shall I talk about that someone new in my life? Well, I like him a lot! I miss him every time I don't see him and I'm excited and happy whenever I do see him. Every time I see or hear a sports bike it reminds me of him. Every time I see a guy in uniform, I wonder how he looks like in his own uniform. I long for the day that I'd see him in the No. 1 uniform. God knows how I love men in uniform.

The No. 1 uniform looks something like this, only his is red stripes. I think.

Imagine that on this:

With this:

Whoo! Haha.

But besides that, he's nice. He makes me laugh. He loves his family. He loves kids. He makes me happy. He's a good guy.

I'm his secret admirer. I'm talking about the boy on the left. Haha.

Thursday, December 11, 2008 12:56 pm
Save me.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.

Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that it's happy right now.

See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.