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A Note

I love flowers. I love spontaneity, and pleasant surprises. I'm dainty and ambitious; really. I nurse others. There's more than meets the eye when it comes to me.

 Yours Truly

N A D I A H
200788
ngee ann poly
school of health sciences
Children's Emergency, KKWCH

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[ friendster ]

 Exits

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

Codes Voxybaby
Image Forever 21






Friday, June 09, 2006 8:54 pm
I'm really sorry.



I'm the most terrible person in the whole world. I feel so bad about what I said that I wanted to die. I didn't mean for anyone to read what I wrote. I just wanted to let it all out. What a stupid fool I am. The worst kind. It's so bad I might not even mind if someone tries to kill me.

The humiliation is so great. Like Great Wall of China or the Great Tsunami or something. I can't face the world anymore.

Then Tini said I should talk it out with him. I can never face a single hair of his already let alone talk to him. God! I just want to take my heart and throw it down my 13 storey flat la. I cannot talk to him after all this la. I wish I was never born. I'm a terrible person. I want to sleep and never wake up. And cry my whole body fluid out.

I'm going to hate school from now on la. Everyone hates me. I wish I was born with a disease called "Deficiency of Feelings". Then maybe the super God doctor can install a "Robotic Feelings machine" with an on/off switch button so that I can switch off whatever terrible feelings I encounter. That's definitely how I can survive in this world.

God hates me. He's punishing me. I'm super sure of that that if I get to ask Him, he'll say, "Yes, you're a bad person and I'm punishing you for being stupid and bloody arrogant." OK so some people will say I brought it down on myself.

This is the worst day of my life.

So I'm feeling a little sorry for myself. Everyone does that one time or another. I don't know why I'm so defensive. What's left to defend man? My fucking dignity has bloody disappeared into the Milky Way or the Black Hole or in Bermuda Triangle la.

I told Felicia also. She's really good at comforting someone. She's a good friend. And so is Tini. The best! But I'm not going to get over this that soon. No way. God will never let me forget it so soon. He'll never let me forget it.

I hate myself. I really do. I don't think I can ever be happy. I shall now be someone who people can't get close to, who never talks, who never looks into people's eyes. I'm going to be someone anonymous and low-lying, so low, I'm under the heaviest rock and even dust is above me.

Now let me go and cry peacefully.

I AM SO SORRY!