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Wednesday, December 19, 2007 5:53 pm
Bring the Pain.
Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain we can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us.
Pain. We anesthetize... ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.
As she listens to Avril Lavigne's shrill voice crying out to the one she misses, she waits for the bus late at night. She puts it on repeat, the blinding headlights of vehicles grow larger as her vision blurs with tears. Tomorrow is the day. The day she'll start missing someone so badly, her chest will hurt from the wrenching pain. By the third repeat of "When You're Gone", her silent tears morphs into quiet sobs. She understands the feeling of near blindness as her eyes brimmed. She covers her mouth trying to prevent the escape of anguished sobs. "I will not cry tomorrow," she whispers.
"Do you know the reason?"
Frustration bubbles in her when she fails to accomplish the promise she has made to herself.
"Take care."
She stands and turns without looking back. A nice continuous strong wind stopped her. She turns her face up against the wind, relishing the feeling of her swept back hair, the caress on her cheeks and neck. She stands still, the only thing that moves is the rest of the world. The vibration of her phone interrupts. A message.
Damn you, tears.
Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside.
Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up.
Pain. You just have to fight through. Because the truth is, you can't outrun it. And life always makes more.
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