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Monday, October 13, 2008 9:49 pm
Melancholy.
Today I saw a case that is truly and utterly disturbing to me, and it freaked me out. Still does.
I saw a worm! It was long and thin and pink. I didn't look too closely or long enough to see whether it was alive because I'd faint and die or just have a nightmare should I see it wriggling about. It was on a tissue paper in one of the consultation rooms. One of the patients were said to have shit-ted that out. OMG! During my lunch, Kak Jah brought that case up. And I swear I'd lose my appetite, only I was pretty hungry. But it got worse when Michelle asked what colour it was and Kak Jah said it looked like the colour of my sausage! Dear God! It got even worse than that when Huda said "Eee, maggots!". I was eating rice, see. I've a phobia of worms. A phobia so bad that I could end up in a mental hospital and never be cured.
After work, met up with Jaime at Tampines Mall and caught the movie Eagle Eye! It was pretty awesome, I say! I love it. And I admire Shia Labeouf greatly. From acting in a comedy in a children/youth show, he went to become quite a great star after acting in Hollywood films like "Transformers" and now, "Eagle Eye". And I loved both! I never thought I'd like action movies, but those two named movies were absolutely awesome. I just didn't like the ending in Eagle Eye where Rachel kissed Shia. Isn't she way older than him?
Pretty good-looking, no? He's really cute in Eagle Eye.
After that, we went to eat our late dinner. And spent a lot of the time before our last bite and sip of our drinks talking. When she talked about Leslie (however you spell it), it reminded me of someone I know.
The first five or six times we spent together was some of the best time of my life. I could swear I was in love, or maybe just really, really liked him. He treated me well and I felt special. I felt taken care of. But I was also able to understand when Jaime mentioned some of her doubts about Leslie that maybe Leslie treats all girls like that. That was what I thought of him too. But, I don't know, most of the time when I was with him, I couldn't be happier. Sometimes I even let myself think that maybe he liked me back. But that all ended on the sixth(?) 'date'.
That day we flew kites. That day we sat on a bench along some river/lake/sea and talked and I cried in front of him. He got me blind-folded and brought me to a place where we could stand back and observe the sky-high lighted concrete and glass buildings against the night sky. That evening after dinner, we walked along a river, sat down and talked somemore. That evening he made me laugh. That evening he casually measured the length of my fingers against his. That night I thought he caught my heart. And that night was also when he fought with his then girlfriend. He got upset and all quiet after that. I only tapped his shoulder that was nearest to me to comfort him, when what I really wanted to do was give him a hug. That night I went home knowing it'll never be what it was like before. That night, and one or two days after, I cried until my eyes got puffy.
It took me some time to get over it. We still, well, used to, talk and message and go out. And all those time that we talked and messaged and went out (after the incident) the feelings I had for him was still there, niggling at the back of my head. But it was like a candle whose wick is getting short. It struggles to keep lighted, keep alive but in the end it just dies. And for me it's only the memory of the fun and happy and special times that sometimes makes it hard for me to get over him or forget him.
But of course, now I really, really have to shake it off cuz he now has a new girlfriend.
Hmm.. that was detailed. But who really cares if he finds out I'm talking about him right? We hardly contact each other anymore now that he's newly attached anyway.
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